The Adventure Challenge CA

Do you do this in your relationship?

This email was sent on Apr 11, 2024 4:09 pm

The Adventure Challenge x The Gottman Institute - Week 1 - turning towards!

What's a bid? Bids are verbal or nonverbal gestures between a couple that signal a need for connection. They can be big or small, spoken or unspoken, obvious or indistinct. Making and responding to bids is something you’re likely doing all the time in your relationship with things like: asking a question giving your partner a hug or holding their hand verbally expressing a hope/desire

There are three different ways to respond to a bid. Turning towards (acknowledging the bid) Turning away (ignoring or missing the bid) Turning against (rejecting the bid in an argumentative or belligerent way)

According to the Gottman’s, healthy couples constantly make and turn towards bids to connect. When bids are ignored or rejected, partners are more inclined to become frustrated. - Tips for growth: Practice recognizing and turning toward your partner’s bids in order to create a safe space. For example, if they ask you a question, do your best to give them your full attention in response. -Adapted from The Gottman Institute’s The Winter Sound Relationship House - Visit Gottman’s Website

The Adventure Challenge: LEAN IN! Go on a date this week that’s all about responding to each other’s bids! Take turns making suggestions for your date on everything from where you should eat (dessert before dinner, maybe?) to ideas for new activities to try! When your partner makes a suggestion or reaches out for connection, whether it’s physical or emotional, practice turning towards their bid. See where the date takes you when you’re extra attentive to each other!

Stay tuned for more!  Every Thursday for the next seven weeks you'll get new tips and  challenges in your inbox as part of our exclusive eight week challenge with The Gottman Institute.

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